Divorce is a Magical Thing

Woo Hoo!!! I'm free....almost.

After six years of being with the same person, it's all come to end. I can say that I'm pretty darn happy about that. I mean, it's kind of sad to move on only because sometimes I think about the good times we had. The births of our children, and some other funny random moments that existed between us. For the most part though, it was a lot of shit. A lot of stuff that I'm glad I won't have to put up with anymore. I feel relieved. Now my focus is my children. Making sure they'll be OK. They seem to be dealing quite well. Children are very resilient.

I've filed, but this is only the beginning. Now we get to fight about the house and money. He's stated numerous times that he wants me to have full custody, which is perfectly fine by me. The only reason for this is because in my opinion he's selfish. He wants to be all about his band and his "rockstar" life. Ha, fucking ha! It'll be his loss someday when our children are all grown up and he hasn't barely seen any of it. Sad really.

About the house? Yeah, he wants the kids and I out so the house can just go into foreclosure. Wicked smart. I'm really gonna move my kids out of the only house they know, where Aidan just started school. Brillant. Also, it's gonna cost the same amount for a two bedroom apartment in this area as it would to just keep paying the mortgage.

After all, he makes me angry. Not because of the divorce, but because I feel as if he's letting our kids down. I never show this anger to him. Any text, email or phone conversation I stay mature, never name call. Yet, he feels the need to call me names. What the hell did I get myself into?? If I could have any magic power, it would be to foresee the future. Right? Right.

Throughout this ordeal, I have had a lot of support from my family, my friends and my co-workers. This time, I shant try to go back. Last time I did, and I shouldn't have then I didn't have the support that I do now. Plus I'm just DONE. 6 years gone wasted....partially. I'm a pretty strong willed woman, and I will make it onto the other side. As Nick Hexum would sing, "Beyond the Gray Sky" that's me, looking beyond the gray sky. I know it won't be like this forever, I know. I count my blessings that I have my good friend Kelsey, she keeps my head on straight.

Wish me luck in my endeavors......