The shit has hit the fan.
My Story:
From a vary sequence of events, I am here now in this part of my life where at times feel overwhelmed. It all started with the beginnings of my divorce. My divorce and a car accident left me in a financial ruin. Credit is gone because a certain somebody racked up loans and credit card debt that also had my name attached to them. On top of that in October of 2008 I got into a car accident, which was my fault all the way. Since the accident I have had a Grand Am, that I sold to buy another Cavalier with my old engine in it from the car accident Cavalier. That lasted until September of this year. Then my parents were kind enough to let me borrow my brother's Jeep Liberty until I could save money to buy another car. That hasn't happened yet because, my last job with Colorado Community Hospice cut my hours, which led to me not being able to pay my rent. So I had to leave that apartment and go to another one, but before that they let me go in early January of this year. So, no job still had the Liberty and found a new place to live. Whew! Not yet....
Remember how I said I was in an accident? Well Adams County frowns upon not having insurance. So they took my license away in May of 2009. Started a new job at another hospice on January 11th only to be let go on February 1st because my MVR came back and guess what? You don't have a license so you can't work for us. Crap. But before that about a week prior to being let go, my Mom calls. "Tash, I've got bad news" What Mom? "They're here to get the Jeep" What? You're kidding! That was on a Friday, Saturday the repo guy came all the way down from Fairplay Colorado to Westminster to fetch the Jeep. So, I guess Ma and Pa weren't paying for it. Just started a new job, got a new place to live, but no car to get me to a job that requires me to drive. Luckily Travis and his lovely Ma, Bobbi came through and suggested that I ask his sister Tammi if I could borrow her old Saturn that she wasn't driving because Bobbi had sold her her Jeep Cherokee. Thankfully, she was more than willing to help. I have a car now temporarily, still no license and no job. It'll cost me $1,200 to get my license back. I am currently looking for a job.
THE ICING ON THE SHIT CAKE:
Through all my unsteadiness of said events, and me trying my hardest to make a good life for my children and I, Travis was there for support. He always helped come up with plans and ideas and told me "we" were going to make it through this crap together. He even lent me money that I paid back for a car payment on the Cavalier. I never asked him for anything, ever. I have a really hard time asking for and accepting help. I've been working on that though, because he always reassured me that it was okay to need help and he would never hold it against me.
I guess it can't always be good.
He left me.
On Tuesday, the day after I lost my job. He said that he wanted to take a break because of the stuff I have going on is too much for him.
I am beside myself with anger
I feel lied to. He always said he wasn't going anywhere, don't worry I'll be here, I love you. I call bullshit. You do not up and leave the person you supposedly love when they're going through some shit. You stay, you back them up no matter how many times they fall down. You are there to raise them up. At least that's what I believe. I know if the roles were reversed, that's what I would do. I have been there for a good share of supportive events in that man's life. Father passing and helping him try and work through that. Mom getting breast cancer. Pushing him to go to school.
How can you say enough is enough?
I know that my life has been hectic since August of 2008. This is all new to me. Being a single Mom. Trying to make it on my own with two kids. It hasn't been easy, by no means. But I'm trying. I want a good, stable life for me and my kiddies. I can't live like this either, with all this chaos in my life. I have a plan and I have goals.
Regardless if he wants to be here with me or not. I will succeed. I will have a job, house, car, oh and license ha. It just takes time. I will be fine.
So....another window closed.
Where's that garage door? :)
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