birdman.jpg

The Birdman of Denver

Drawn by Travis T
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Morning Sun

Morning sun thrust upon the sleeping world.

Shuttered windows opened to this fresh new light.

Groggy snooze and sand filled eyes.

Opened Wide!

Let it in I say! Evoke my soul!

My mind is still only half awake from my midnight run.

It does not want to see the sun.

Tis inevitable though, cannot ignore the light.

Oh yours is too bright.

Morning sun, so fresh and new

I awoke to you

Reconsider Everything

I've had sometime to reflect about what I wrote in a previous blog called "Starting". I've become more solidified. Congeal, if you will. I have deemed it unnecessary for my man and I to move in together right now. I'm not sure when exactly it would be necessary, but I'm OK with us not co-habitating. It feels like there's a lot of pressure these days to follow a certain relationship guideline. For instances, at 3 months you should be saying "I Love You" or at 6 months this should be happening. Well, some people just don't fit into those "molds". I myself am good with taking it easy. What's the rush? I have learned from past history mistakes to NOT rush anything. Plus, Travis hasn't lived on his own, own with no roommates in....god I don't even know. It's been a really long time though. Plus I'm still figuring out how to be a single Ma', live on my own again and take care of my babies. A little soul searching, and standing on my own two feet. That means a lot to me. My independence is everything to me. I don't want to feel like I need to rely on somebody else. In all honesty, it scares me to death. The idea of living with a man again.

I think I was really upset before because I felt rejected. Which is normal. I took it personally. We have a really great thing going between us. The best either of us has ever had. It's a grown-up kind of thing, which is such a nice change. No yelling and screaming, we talk. Most of the time it is rainbows and lollipops full of sunshine and sugar. I do believe I have found the other half of me. Like Dr. Evil says to Mini Me, "you complete me". Ahh, too funny.

All in all I am saited, content, full and loved. In no need of convincing, or feeling pressured. It'll happen, like most things, when it's ready to.

And I'm OK with that

One New Age Hippie? Coming Right Up!

I have been seriously entertaining the idea of becoming a vegetarian. More exactly, lacto-vegetarian. Reasons why are as follows:

• touching raw meat sickens me
• the processes which bring meat to my local store are degrading, not only to the animals but to the people whom work in the plants.
• it's just not healthy. There have been many reported cases of illness, even death due to eating meat that wasn't up to standard. Not to mention the cholesterol.
  
• the only dairy I enjoy are cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt. Milk is easy to cut out, since it hurts my stomach and soy tastes sooo much better.
  

Ethically and morally, I just can't side with being an omnivore anymore. Maybe one day I'll have my own farm and raise chickens, pigs and cows, then I'll feel at ease with eating meat again. Until that time, then I think I'm just going to drop it from my diet. I'm making a conscious effort to stop standing behind the conglomerate corporations that feed us their ideas and horrible food which is laden with maleficence against other humans, animals and the earth as a whole. Until there is a shift in the practices these corporations uphold, then I will take a stand against them. I will spend my money on locally grown, organic, non-overly processed food and beauty items. I'm shaking my newly born, hippie fist at them. Take that! Ha!

I've been researching the internets to formulate my herbivore plan, to make sure I'm doing it right. The biggest problem I've heard of with talking to people who once were veg or are and how they got started,was the lack vitamins and minerals that you once received from eating meat. You need to be informed, so you can make the healthiest decision and not have any dietary deficiencies. I found online a "Vegetarian Pyramid", which shows what you should typically eat at every meal, once a day and weekly.
I've also been worried about what the heck am I going to cook?? That problem was easily overcome since the internet is full of veg recipes. I found on the Mayo Clinic's website, that they have a plethora of free meal ideas and recipes. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meatless-recipes/RE00104 Amazing!

I've also worried about cost. I know a lot of the obesity problem and diabetes issues in this country are because people eat poorly.
People eat poorly because they typically cannot afford to eat the things that are good for them. It's set up this way on purpose. Why go to the store and buy a pound of apples for $1.29? When you can buy a cheeseburger for only 99cents. Like the movie Super Size me states somewhere along the lines, that fast food places are geared to make you want to eat every meal there, and for cheap. Eating right is a choice. There are many local co-ops, whole food markets and farmers markets you can choose to shop at. Yes, you're going to pay a little bit more at let's say a Whole Foods or Sunflower Market, but you're paying for quality and to me the value in that goes a lot further with me than paying for something that is over processed, full of chemicals that are going to cause my daughter to start her period earlier, and harmful to my planet. If this is the one thing I can do, for myself and my family then I'm going start.

I'm really excited about this. I'm excited to go to Whole Foods and check out their bath and beauty products. No, laurel blah blah sulfate? Sweet!! A product that's made of real, wholesome ingredients that are good for me and the earth? Awesome!! Stoked people, I'm absolutely stoked!!

You got me good...

Love stricken. I have always been. Since I first laid eyes on you, I wanted you. I could never get enough. I still can't. Head over heels from the very beginning. I have always loved you. Passionately. Words cannot truely express how I feel about you. Miss you always, when you're not near. Want to hold, touch and kiss you all the time. I'm so happy that you're mine. I thank pure luck or coincidence that you're in my life. You've helped make me a better me. There was a time when I was scorned and unopen to the possibility of love, had all but lost hope that I could find someone who brought the best out of me and made me truly happy. I found that with you. You are the other half of me. I still get excited to receive a call from you and to hear your voice. I still get butterflies when my phone goes off and it may be a text from you. I still get fluttery when you walk into the room. You got me, you got me good.
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Starting

I'm currently starting a lot of things in my life, or the possibility of starting things will be happening soon.

Starting not to care is one of them...

Been dating this wonderful man for over a year now, and 95% of our relationship is frickin' amazing. He treats me well. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate, funny, very intelligent blah blah blah. All the good stuff. He just keeps getting me confused with other girls he's dated and quite frankly, I'm over it. No, I'm not the girl who got knocked up by another dude while you were together. I'm not the girl who broke your heart and left you sleeping on your sisters living room floor. I'm not any of those people.

I'm a good girlfriend to him, he's even told me so without me asking. In his words the best he's ever had. The hang-up here, or the snag we're stuck at is that I have kids from my previous marriage. He's spent some time with them, but not enough to be a clear judge on how awesome they are. Yes, they're kids and yes they do whine at times or make messes, but those are not reasons to not want to move in with me. Oh, yeah that's the biggie going on right now. We've been talking about moving in together. He's worried that they'll destroy all his worldly possessions, they'll never listen to him, he'll have to be prime punisher, and that I just want to live with him for financial reasons. Yes sirree!!! We are out to destroy him!!!! Mu-ah ha ha ha ha! lame.

It goes without saying, that he has to protect himself. Everybody does, I understand this even though I am blond. This is the natural course in any grown-up relationship. I cannot say that I too am not scared. What if we move in together and he's a controlling Nazi? Overall though, I'm not as afraid as he is. I can't explain why. Maybe it's because I know him, and even though he's an OCD clean freak I still love him and want to be with him all the time. I know all his quirks, habits, hang-ups, annoyances, pet peeves, and I still want to be with him, live with him whatever.

As I'm writing this, Ive started to think that maybe he knows all those things about me too but just doesn't want to really live with me? What if I didn't have my children? He says he'd live with me, that hurts. Is it true though? Would he just find another excuse not to live with me?

So, starting not to care. You go. You go and live on your own. I don't give a shit.

I'm afraid that if we don't take this step, because it's coming up soon. Leases will be up and all that, that we won't work out. I will be hurt, I will be resentful and not to mention pissed. I seriously don't want to wait another goddamn year to "see how it goes". Mr. Shuffle His Feet, better pick up the pace. This is just so frustrating. I don't know what to do with myself. Bail? Suck it up and hold out?

It aggravates me to say this, but I probably would hold out. I have been and still would. How pathetic is that? A glutton for punishment, I guess. Good things come to those who wait, right? What if I do wait, and we still don't work out? If you really love somebody, you will do whatever it takes to make it work, you will love them unconditionally, through thick and thin. I love this man. I really do, more so than I can say I've ever loved another. I can say that I would wait for him because of this.

So, we'll see how it goes. Start here, our paths parallel but not joined hopefully heading in the same direction and possibly merging into one? Start here, together, on the same path side by side and definitely heading in the same direction? ................

Hungry

My sweet little peach is hungry
It needs to be fed
Salivating juicy nectar upon its cotton bonds
Please pluck it from its tree
So ripe and ready to devour

Emotion In Motion

.....Emotion in Motion

Like the oceans waves that flip and turn for days

To come and some of the clouds recede to please

For pleasure, whatever, i hope this lasts forever

Nothing can devour or sour what is or what will come,

But for some they believe we will end in lonesome memories

Look into my eyes... this is true, from me to you

Nothing but me and you

My hearts on fire for that one that i desire

You and only you, believe when i say that i speak the truth

.....that i truly love you

-Travis Thompson

No Vacancy

The sign has been posted
Its stated very plain
No vacancy here today

Guests come as you may
Make requests to pay, ample amounts
I'm sorry, you cannot stay
No vacancy here today

You may ring the bell
Shout real loud
Threaten taughts of bodily harm
We're all full, it has been spoken
No vacancy here today

Go, leave now
Come back some other time
Make a reservation
I'll say it once more
No vacancy here today, this heart is not working

-Tash